Boys Don't Cry
by intricate.bella
Summary: Completed. A story of heartbreak, drama, and loss as the Coopers move to New York. Marissa must leave her whole life behind: including Ryan.
1. Chapter ONE

**Boys Don't Cry**

(_Author's Note: I just decided to do this story, out of sheer boredom. Let me know what you think!)_

**Chapter One

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**

Marissa gulped down a clump that was settling in her throat, as her bottom lip trembled. She tried to keep the tears from flowing onto her cheeks, but it seemed useless. She was staring deep in front of her, as she tried to seek eventual consolation in Ryan's arm, against her shoulder. She shook her head, as she brushed his gentle arm away, with the tips of her fingers. She looked up at him, her big, beady eyes staring at him, sadness warping them, "I can't do this any more." She looked away, as she buried her head in her hands, trying to soothe her aching heart, "Ryan, we've done this once too many, and I don't think I can take it any more." She sniffled, as she tilted her head back, closing her eyes. Ryan wasn't saying anything, but his eyes expressed an entirely different story- he was hurt, and aching, and it killed Marissa to see him in so much pain, "Don't make this harder than it is…" Marissa sobbed, as she got up to leave, taking a final glance at Ryan's blank, and emotionless face, "Ryan," She started, as she went to give him a peck on the cheek, "I love you, but it shouldn't be this hard." She said, and with a final nod, she sprung toward the door. She didn't dare look back at Ryan, instead she ran over to the driveway, and quickly slammed the door to her car. She let out a final sob, before she turned the engine on, and pulled away from the Cohen residence.

Ryan collapsed onto his bed, his entire body giving away any sense of control. He wasn't ready to give Marissa up- he wasn't ready to let her move away to New York. He never considered it to be _his _fault in the entirety. He never realized that Marissa didn't want to be with him, rather her own family- and it pained him to know that she was able to give him up so easily, in spite of the battles he put up for her. Perhaps it was _too _much, but it simply was not _enough _to get Marissa to stay with him. When he suggested different escape routes, Marissa always backed down- he should have known something was up, he shouldn't have pushed her so hard, and he definitely shouldn't have pressured her so much into staying with him. It might have been his fault- it _might _have – but still, he could barely muster the confidence to think about the word, over.

He could not imagine the fact, that Marissa and Ryan, Ryan and Marissa, Harbour's most envied couple, was over. It was simply incomprehensible, how something so magical, so worthwhile, and so long-term, could be _over _with one simple command from Julie Cooper, Newport's worst decision maker. Ryan tried to grasp the concept- but no matter how hard he tried to believe it, his mind only made it seem like a vicious nightmare, gnawing away at one's most self-conscious worries.

Ryan felt his eyes stinging, with what seemed like tears, but he fought them successfully, breathing the words, "Boys don't cry" in between his excruciating pain. Usually, people don't feel the exact second their heart shatters into a million pieces, but for Ryan, it was quite on the contrary. He felt as though Marissa had ripped out his heart, and fed it to some wolves on the outskirts of town.

Ryan had to pull himself together; he simply had to. Never had he developed such love for a girl- never had he had his heart broken so inhumanely. The moving idea he could bear with, he would even try to cope with a long distance relationship, because he somehow _knew _that the spark he had with Marissa Cooper was everlasting. What he simply could not bear with, was that she was willing to simply break it off, like it was worth nothing. How was it '_too hard'? _To Ryan, everything seemed to flow… everything was absolutely flawless in their relationships. Sure, they had a _few _ups and downs, but every couple had them- they were inevitable, and they built a stronger foundation for a relationship.

Ryan sat up, exhaling and inhaling deeply. Marissa was probably already half-way to the airport, and he wasn't planning on stopping her further. If she felt it necessary to practically cut a limb from his body, so be it. He felt a sort of sweltering anger burning inside of him- how could Marissa do that to him? He almost immediately figured that if that's the way she wanted things to be, then he himself would forget about her- or at least he would give it a decent try.

Marissa drove home, her eyes filled with incessant tears. She glanced in her front-view mirror, her face dripping with her mascara, and her cheeks swollen red of colour. She gazed at the sign posted in front of her house, that read "SOLD" in big, block red letters. Tears immediately ripped out of her eyes, once she read it uncomfortably. She quivered at the sight, as she jumped out of her car and ran toward her door, attempting to hide from the drilling rain, that was pounding rhythmically against the Newport surface. It seemed to have the sole intentions of burying the fruitful city, in a quilt of rain drops, and that was exactly what it was doing.

Marissa slammed the door, leaving everything that was powdering the air with worry, and trouble behind her. Julie Cooper appeared from behind the corner, giving Marissa a sympathetic glance, as she gazed at the luggage stacked at the front foyer on her way to give her daughter a deep hug, "Are you ready, Marissa?" She asked, as she pulled away, regretting the idea of moving silently, as she saw Marissa's face, torn with tears.

"Ready as I'll ever be."


	2. Chapter TWO

(_Author's Note ;; Thank you all for the reviews. Keep em coming:) )_

**Chapter Two

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**

"Honey, are you alright?" Julie asked, and for once Marissa noticed genuine sorrow, and remorse in her frigid eyes. Marissa glared at her,

"Little late, mom." She said, as she swung her luggage over her shoulder, and walked quickly towards the taxi that had just parked on their driveway. She didn't dare look her mother in the eyes, from this point on- it would just trigger something inside of her, something that she didn't want to understand nor reveal. She figured it was enough to just leave Summer, one of her good friends, Seth, and above all, the love of her life- Ryan Atwood. As she slammed the door closed, she glared ahead of her, attempting to hold back the tears that were tackling her eyes. Her mouth was crumpled in a frown.

Julie stared at Marissa, walking down so coldly toward the taxi cab. She didn't have the same preppy zing to her step, instead she walked quietly, and sadly. Julie looked at the house she was leaving behind, and she figured all the events in the past month led to just that. Even though Jimmy had fled, once more, Newport held too many memories that seemed unbearable to keep in mind. Everything seemed to crash down on her- everything seemed so horrendous in the entirety. Caleb Nichol, had recently passed away. Her daughted, had also recently shot someone… Here, in Newport, Julie Cooper was an absolutely wreck. In New York, she could finally be a person her daughter was proud of, a person _she _herself was proud of.

She stepped into the taxi, as she nodded at the driver's polite nod. She couldn't look Marissa in the eyes, for she understood the hatred that were conveyed by them. Honestly, Julie was afraid of seeing her glazed, tear-filled eyes staring back at her, reminding her second by second, what a wreck she was, "I've sent your sister a plane ticket, Marissa. She'll be joining us in New York in a few days, when we've settled." Julie muttered, keeping her eye straight at the distant house, as the taxi pulled away ever so slowly taunting the two passengers.

When Marissa felt that she was no longer on her own property, she shook her head, pressing her lips together, with a last teary sob. She covered her face with her hands, as her body shook when she tried to cover her cries. Marissa turned her gaze out the window, as she didn't even both wiping the free-flowing tears off of her already moist cheeks. Marissa closed her eyes allowing another stretch of tears tremble down her face hesitantly.

To Marissa, it seemed like excruciating hours before the taxi driver looked at her mother demandingly for his pay, and got out of the vehicle to dump their luggage for them, "Thank you ma'am." He said, as he too, like their house, became a solemn part of the horizon. Marissa grasped her luggage as her legs carried her slowly toward the airport doors. Julie followed her closely, as she touched Marissa's shoulder with her hand. Marissa slid from underneath her hand, not ready for such 'consolation' from the sole person her bestowed the pain on her in the first place. Julie felt hurt, as she dropped her hand to the side, not understand why her reassuring touch made Marissa cringe.

Marissa stopped walking, as she looked around the airport, not sure where every step would take her. Instead, she followed Julie's proud march. Marissa wondered how her mother could be so entirely positive, when her own world was crumbling into pieces. She didn't know whether she should take into her shadow, and look at it optimistically- however, she didn't know how to look at it in the first place. To her, her entire life was shattered right before her eyes, and the situation was helpless, because no matter how much she pleaded, nor begged her mother- the situation was simply, a lost cause.

Ryan still didn't know what he was doing, in his car, halfway toward the airport. Sure, he was trying to get Marissa back- but really, would it help? Would Marissa fall into his arms, kiss him feverously, and say she would stay with him and never let go? – Probably not. Ryan wasn't sure why his body was leading him toward the airport so suddenly, determination flattering his every step. He realized it would probably be too late… too late to get Marissa back, too late to even see her again before she was on her way to the Big Apple- too late for _everything. _He jumped out of his car, and raced toward the airport entrance. Once he got in, he looked around the maze of people, scattered busily in and about. And then, he recognized something he could recognize from miles away- Marissa's golden-brown hair, as she closed her eyes, clutching her carryon. Ryan saw her inhale deeply, before she took one step inside the gates.

"Marissa!" Ryan cried out. To his heart's content, she turned around, but her expression was neither happy, nor angry, nor even sad. She closed her eyes swiftly, and shook her head faintly, and Ryan understood that nothing he said, or did could convince her now. Ryan continued to stare at her beautiful face, as he noticed from far away, that tears started to gather in her eyes. Ryan pocketed his hands, as he simply stood, staring at Marissa like he had never before, noticing every single immaculate detail about her face. Crowds of people were scurrying past him, and he seemed to be the only one not thinking about anything except this one girl, and not doing anything but staring at her. Marissa then turned around, evidently unable to gulp anymore down. She walked through the gates, and Ryan continued to watch her leave.

She left.

Ryan could not register the thought, nor would he want to. He could have never imagined Marissa Cooper, his first _true _love simply leaving. He could have never imagined her, falling through the tips of his fingers. He would have never imagined the situation he was in, but he understood that he was done imagining. Reality had hit him hard, much too hard for him to bear. It had knocked him off his feat once, when he met Marissa. He couldn't possibly be knocked down again, if he wasn't even up yet, to begin with.

Ryan turned around, his face trailing the ground, his shoulder slumped. He started to drag his feet toward his car, and soon he found himself turning on the engine, and taking his vulnerable body home.


	3. Chapter THREE

_(Author's Note: The story is not done! Thanks for the reviews! Just a little ahead of time thinking- this will eventually turn into a future fic. Not to spoil anything further, I promise Ryan and Marissa will meet each other again… I promise! It's moving up to that point, where I'll say "Twenty years later.." lol, in a more sophisticated, and indirect kind of way.. until then, hope you enjoy:)))_

**Chapter Three

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**

Ryan entered the Cohen household, apparently not ready for their bewildered expressions. He was not ready for the pity their eyes spilled, nor their reluctant actions, that they tried to make casual and unknowing. Ryan didn't care, didn't _want _to care. He sat down at the kitchen table, and Seth Cohen sat down beside him, wondering if it would cause his friend any consolation.

"You want anything to eat, Ryan?" Kirsten asked him gently and nevertheless quietly, so that she would not trigger any outbursts. Ryan shivered as an eerie feeling of déja-vu powdered his senses. He had many times before sat at the table, except usually his smiles would be powered by the same, old, Marissa Cooper. Meanwhile now, he sat at the table, virtually empty. All his emotions about anything had been rid of his body, and he could barely look straight ahead of him, or he pictures of Marissa would flash in his mind, "Ryan, anything to eat?" He hadn't even realized that Kirsten had asked him a question earlier. His face jolted to toward her worried gaze, and he tried to smile apologetically. He shook his head, as he continued to ponder the many things that were racing through his mind, "Ryan," Kirsten said, her motherly tone entirely visible.

Ryan looked up at her. He tried to seem indifferent- he _tried _to seem like nothing was troubling him completely. Kirsten saw right through it, as she took a seat next to him, "Seth," She started quietly, "I know you're Ryan's friend, but I think I have to talk to him- like," She paused, "Mother to son." Seth smiled gently, his awkward moves showing a touch of jealously, but he sprung out of his seat, and went to play some videogames. Ryan stared at her, and wondered why she had chosen those words, "Ryan, you've been living with us for so long, it'd be a sin not to consider you like my own." She smiled at him, and it, for some reason, it seemed to be lifting his spirits. Ryan tried to smile, and Kirsten took his bare shiver of his lips, as one of his genuine grins, "We've all been through our first heartbreak, Ryan." She said, as she touched his shoulder firmly, "We've all been able to laugh it off in the end, as well." She added, her face constantly concerned. After a moment of silence, Kirsten realized she wasn't going to get through to him, "The first time I fell in love with, I was actually faced with the same dilemma." Ryan looked up hopefully, his face quizzical, as if asking her directly- _Are you serious, or are you just telling me that to make me feel better?_

"I haven't told anyone this, even Sandy." Kirsten admitted softly, "But, the first time I fell in love, it was the real thing. I knew it the minute I met him, and I knew it was love cause I feel the same thing towards Sandy today. If my dad hadn't got his business offer here in Newport, who knows? I might've been married to Greg Loray quite as easily as I married Sandy." She exhaled, "And I'm not here to tell you, that I got over him in a second, and the minute that I met Sandy I wasn't skeptical- because I was!" She said quickly, "When Sandy asked me to marry him, I felt the same thing. I didn't know if I was, well, ready. I didn't know if I was entirely _over _Greg." Kirsten lowered her head, as she started to fumble with her fingers, "And honestly Ryan, if I saw Greg now, I probably wouldn't be over him, _still." _She frowned, "But that's how your first love works. If you see Marissa in twenty years, you'll feel the same way you feel for her now." Kirsten smiled softly, "Just know it's not the end, okay, Ryan? It was obvious how special Marissa was to you, but you gotta know that's how fate works, and if it was meant to be this way, then there's nothing to worry about, cause there are other plans for you."

"When did you realize that you could open yourself up to other guys- eventually, Sandy?" Ryan asked, fretting to look into Kirsten's eyes.

"I didn't." She actually laughed, and Ryan intrigued by it, looked up, "Sandy knew, and I trusted him." Kirsten nodded to herself, "I soon started to trust myself, and there I was- in love again."

"Did you ever doubt that your love for Sandy was the same as the love you had for _Greg_?" Ryan asked, and Kirsten seemed dumbfounded by the depth of Ryan's questions.

"Many times, Ryan." Kirsten looked into his eyes, as she cradled his hand in hers, "But honey, when you're in doubt you've _always _got someone to talk to, okay?" Ryan nodded,

"As helpful as this conversation was, Kirsten, I don't think I feel any different."

"You will." She said reassuringly, "And until then, just try and continue living your life the same way you would with Marissa not around." Kirsten said, "Easier than done." She contradicted what she said, as she slapped her forehead with her hand, "Sorry, Ryan, I keep thinking it's just _that _easy, and actually, I should know better… I should know that it wasn't easy at all." Kirsten said quickly. Ryan bit his lip, and Kirsten took that as a cue to get up, and let his swim in his own silence, "If you need someone to talk to, Ryan, I'm here for you." She said quietly, as she got up to wash some dishes.

Although Ryan appreciated the talk entirely, he couldn't imagine how Kirsten could possibly understand what he was feeling. Although he cherished their support, he simple wanted to be alone. He decided to get up, as he slipped away from the kitchen, and walked over to the doors that led to the backyard, that would lead him to the pool house where he would be able to gather his thoughts,

"Ryan!" Seth called out, from behind the couch, "You wanna play some videogames?" Ryan stared at him for a moment,

"No, not today." He said softly, as he slid the door open, and jogged out to the pool house so nobody else could stop him. Once he touched the doorknob, he immediately thought about how Marissa, not too long ago, had been just there, saying her final 'goodbyes'. He entered it anyway, as he felt his pocket around for his cell phone. His fingers itched to simply dial Marissa's number, and call her like he normally would. He couldn't. He quickly tore his fingers away, resisting the horrible temptation. Marissa made it pretty clear to him how she didn't want anything to do with him any longer.


	4. Chapter FOUR

**Chapter Four**

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An echo of Marissa's voice seared through his mind, tearing all admirable moments they had together like a reign of doom. Ryan felt as though all his pleasant memories with Marissa were being plucked from his head, and he was only left with the words he wished he hadn't said, or things he wished he hadn't ever done to her. Ryan gripped his head with both hands, as he grinded his teeth together. It was as though he were going crazy hearing her voice replaying her last words, '_I love you, but it shouldn't be this hard.' _before she left to New York. He let out a mighty groan, and with that, the room was silenced. He looked around, trying to get used to the darkness that the room was completely savaged in. He saw the pool house, light etching into things so minimally that Ryan could barely see what he was looking at so intently. He remembered the objects that occupied his room, and then realized that it was a picture of him and Marissa he was so subconsciously staring at.

The thought made his tremble, as he pulled the covers over his head. Closing his eyes made the most sense- at least his mind could be temporarily rid of Marissa-related-thoughts. He knew it was time to simply give up, move on, and do better. However, he couldn't help but think that he was unable to do just that. Complications seemed to roar in his mind, as he imagined the day Marissa Cooper returned to Newport, and whether or not, they would have the same binding chemistry, as they do now.

Until the very moment he dozed off, Ryan concentrated on the things he should have said to Marissa, before she left- the things that would perhaps, allow her to stay, _or _give her the peace to leave. Instead of simply letting her go, Ryan should have spilled the most convincing words any girl would love to hear, not only because of it's ego boosting skills, but for the very mutual feeling it scatters straight from the soul. He should have said _I love you _with the hopes that the words would somehow enchant Marissa into staying, or at least leave constantly loving Ryan.

Ryan didn't know whether Marissa left hating him, loving him, or feeling absolutely nothing towards him. A sort of heated response etched into his veins, as he thought about the possibility that Marissa hated him. He couldn't think of it, in any way. It just seemed to destroy all sense of serenity, and foundation he had made for himself in Newport. He decided, however, not to think of it.

Marissa striked the door, as it swung open. Julie was already inside, and Marissa was this evening's Luggage-boy. She flung her mother's sole memory of the rich life, her Gucci bag, into this measly two story, three bedroom house. The lights glimmered, and flickered inside, as Julie started to give herself a grand tour or the cozy little house. Marissa hadn't spoken to her mother, since the ride in the taxi back in Newport. She didn't expect things to change, now that they were in the Big Apple. Julie had managed to get a loan for a small little house, in the heart of New York City. Marissa couldn't deny the fact that she was excited to be in the home of the World's biggest shopping centers, and most expensive boutiques, but Marissa couldn't stop but think that Julie was the source of her misery.

She had known for a long time that Julie hated Ryan with a burning passion. Marissa had hoped for a while now, that this hatred would soon pass, however it didn't- instead, it landed her here, a couple of thousand kilometers from where she should be- Ryan's arms. She wondered how Ryan was taking it, and soon she shrugged it off, realizing Ryan was the catch of the day and he would have no troubles finding a replacement. Marissa slammed the last piece of luggage inside the house, before she knocked the door closed with the sole of her shoe.

"Honey, it's perfect." Julie looked at Marissa optimistically, thanking her peculiarly with the small glow in her eyes, "I have a feeling we'll like it here."

"Doubt it." Julie looked shocked when she heard Marissa's voice, for the first time in a couple of hours. Julie lowered her gaze, understanding the situation she was in. Julie closed her eyes, as she willed herself to realize what she had done. Apparently, she had smothered all chances of their _mother-daughter _relationship of living out to its full potential- and Julie knew that. She figured it would be hard on Marissa, once she left Ryan, but she never assumed it would kill her to the bone, because she could tell with the little emotion she had drained in her, that it _was _indeed killing her daughter.

"Marissa," Julie pleaded, as she tried to catch Marissa's ignorant stare unsuccessfully. Julie started to rub her eye, trying to relieve the sting her tears were causing her, with the back of her hand, "You start school tomorrow, can you at least look forward to that?" Julie asked her insensitively.

"_School?_" Marissa seemed to be horrified of the thought, "It's the middle of the night, and you expect _me _to wake up all early and get ready for _school? _You think I'm ready for that kind of thing? This is the torture you'd like to put me through?" Marissa glared at Julie, as she tried to push against her, and pick out any room that would make itself a home to Marissa- a sole sanctuary, even.

"It's 2 a.m., honey. You party longer than this." Julie smirked, as she looked at Marissa's eagerness to leave, "Honey, I need to talk to you, before we continue on with this. So far, it doesn't look like it's working out, but I need you to understand my reasons for taking you out here." Marissa looked up at her boredly, as she started to tap her foot gently on the hardwood floor, that seemed to be flashing her own reflection in the shiny chrome, "I'm assuming you're letting me talk?" Julie pressed her lips together thankfully, "Come to the living room. It's a little bare right now, but maybe instead of school tomorrow, we can go order some more couches- something fun?" Julie looked up hopefully.

"Don't count on it; I'd rather go to school." Marissa shot back coldly, as she sat down on the farthest edge of the two-seat couch. Julie sat down beside her, and took Marissa's hand in her own firmly, so that Marissa couldn't slither her hand out of the reach, nor object- it didn't seem like she wanted to, however. For once, Julie was being the comforting mother she should have been for years now.

"Okay," Julie exhaled not able to bear the situation, "You have to understand why I moved us here." Julie paused, as though she were searching for the very same justifications, "Newport, as you know, held too much trouble for me- too many memories,"

"So you ran away from your problems." Marissa cut her off, understanding what it was all about. Julie looked up at her, clearly hurt.

"No!" She snapped quickly, so that she could not give Marissa any evidence of hesitation, "I left because I couldn't take it anymore- one might say I _ran away _but I didn't want to explode. Neither of these problems were fixable in any way, so I decided that _I _should fix them, by offering my daughters, and myself a better life; one where they have a half-decent mother, anyway." Julie gulped, "Marissa, I know what you had with Ryan was real, and I'm _so _sorry… you just have to understand where _I'm _coming from. Give me some credit, honey! I know you think that I did it so I could split you two up, but I'm not as evil as you think I am. I'd rather you two be together forever, than to leave, but I couldn't just _leave _you… I couldn't. I love you, Marissa, even though you think on the contrary. I hope one day you can realize that what I did, I did with the hopes that one day it would benefit you and Kaitlyn." Julie crossed her fingers on her knee, as she strayed from looking Marissa in the eyes, "Now go upstairs and pick yourself a room."

"Is this a bribe?" Marissa asked inquisitively.

"Maybe… just go." Julie shooed her away. Marissa grabbed her few bags, and trudged up the stairs. She looked back into the living room, only to see a glimpse of her mother. Julie, in the few seconds that it took Marissa to get up to the stairs, was sobbing. Salty tears pounded against Julie's swollen lips, and for once, this triggered some sense of pity within Marissa. She shook it off, as she continued to climb the hefty amount of stairs, leading up to an almost empty plane, with three closed doors.

Marissa walked toward the first door, as she swung it open, dropping her bags down at the end of the stairs. She decided it was easier not to carry it. The first door she opened was pretty, but it didn't attract every cell in her body; it _had _to be perfect, if she was going to maintain her sanity in New York. The pushed the second door open, and with that a wave of admiration surrounded her, but again she realized it wasn't _the _room. With one door left to go, she lifted her hopes up so that it would be entirely perfect, and it was. The view from her room, was breathtaking, and when she saw it for the first time, her legs almost gave out- it was _that _beautiful. She ran in to get her luggage, as she slung them over her shoulder. As she placed the luggage in the corner of her empty bedroom, she put her hands on her hips, as if studying every detail.

"Did you find a room you like?" Julie came in, leaning against the door. Marissa could tell that the smile she had on was as fake as her love for Caleb Nichol. Once she realized that Marissa wasn't buying it, she relinquished a more saddened expression; this, at least, was semi-genuine. Marissa nodded uncertainly, as her eyes strayed from her mother's stare, "I have a inflatable mattress downstairs; that, and sleeping bags, until we can actually settle in." Julie nodded to herself, as though she were registering the words, "It'll have to do for now."

Julie soon left the room quietly, leaving Marissa alone to simply think. Marissa plopped down onto the empty floor, as she dragged her backpack close to her. She unzipped a single pocket in her bag, knowing that the one thing she was looking for was there. She pulled out her cell phone, as she fingered it gently, feeling its smooth edges. It was very tempting in its entirety, and Marissa couldn't help but touch the smooth plates, of where the numbers were. It was like her fingers were directing her; her nails were hovering over Ryan's cell phone number…

She figured he wasn't asleep yet, so instead of maintaining any sense of control, she started to dial the numbers of his cell phone, as quickly and eagerly as the numbers came fluttering to her head. A deep, monotone voice replied after barely two rings. Marissa closed her eyes, as she lowered her body, eventually laying down on the cold, and unfamiliar floor.

Ryan's heart skipped a beat when he noticed Marissa's phone number come up on his caller display feature. He knew this was the time to tell her how he really felt, "I love you… and I miss you M'rissa." Ryan hoped the words wouldn't come out so shyly. He wanted to speak those words which such flustering confidence, that Marissa would take the next plane ride home, and run in to his arms apologizing for the wasted time.

"I know." The words spilled out of her mouth. In the beginning of the conversation, she had convinced herself that she would _not _speak to the boy who stole her heart. Instead, once she heard his voice, neither her mind nor her heart could resist, "But I can't love you; it's too painful now." Marissa muttered, as she felt a clump lodge into her throat. She rubbed her eye, and rid it of the minimal traces of tears it caused. She tried to breathe deeply, so her heart rate could slow down, and so the beads of sweat that were forming on her forehead could cool down. Marissa took his silence as a signal to continue speaking, "Ryan," She paused, knowing that her words would hurt herself, more than they would ever hurt Ryan, "Don't wait up for me.. I need you to promise me, that you'll move on, and that you won't keep praying that I'll come back." Marissa bit her lip, as her body let her breath truly, for once that night. It was like saying that, relieved an entire dynasty of darkness, within her, "I don't want to leave your life broken, so I need you to promise that you will find another Marissa Cooper, and live happily ever after with _her." _The words pained Marissa, as she spoke them slowly. Her voice was quivering, but in a way, she knew Ryan had expected it.

"I can't promise that." Ryan said quickly, and Marissa's entire spirit sunk. She knew it would be much harder than just that.

"You _have _to, Ryan. You _have _to promise me that!" Marissa objected, "You know I can't love you any more. You know it's _over." _Marissa couldn't stop the tears that fell freely from her eyes- they were just too numerous. "What can I do to make you stop loving me? To allow you to move on?" Marissa asked him, as she sobbed silently. She knew it seemed to Ryan that she didn't care- it was better that way. It would leave him with such hatred toward Marissa, that he would have to move on, "I don't love you." Marissa cried out forcefully,

"I know that's a lie." Ryan mumbled, as he sat in the darkness, trying to keep himself from going crazy, "Marissa!" He called out, "I swear without you, I'm going crazy! It's impossible to move on, Marissa, and no matter how much you tell me you don't love me, I _know _that's a lie. I wish you were here right now, but I understand that you _can't _be… but know, that I will _always _love you, and I will _never _let go."


	5. Chapter FIVE

**Chapter Five**

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"Ryan," Marissa whimpered out softly, as she licked the salty tears that glazed her lips, "Please, just listen to me," She muttered softly, wishing that she could simply be in Ryan's arms, where absolutely nothing was wrong, "My world is crashing down on me, and I can't do anything about. I can't live a minute of my day without feeling things toward you, and it will _never _stop, until we both move on," She whispered silently, and took Ryan's silence as acceptance, "I want you to be happy, and honestly, I wish I knew when we are coming back to Newport, but I think this is forever," She said tragically, as the words simmered out of her mouth, behind tears, "Now, if you can't be happy, then I will never be," She finally said, awaiting Ryan's monotone, and calm voice to shatter the severity of the situation, with something as comforting as, '_It will be okay,'_

He didn't say that, however, because he knew that it would not only give Marissa false hope and belief, but it would give him that withering pain in the pit of his stomach, that he lied to his girlfriend, "If you're waiting to hear, '_It will be okay,' _then, Marissa, I'm not even going to say it," He said crisply, "Honestly, without you, it's never going to be okay and even though you don't want to hear that right now, it's the truth," Ryan said pitifully, which only attracted more tears from Marissa's deep, chocolaty eyes,

"Don't say that," She mumbled into the phone, as she pressed her cold hands, against her moist cheek. She tried to break the persistent river of tears, that trailed down her cheek, but she could not control it.

"I have to say it; who else will?" Ryan asked, hopelessly frustrated and saddened by the situation.

"Ryan," Marissa paused for a moment. His name simply entwined a thread of depression, and regret around her soul, and she felt it choking her inside, "I _really _can't do this Ryan, the harder I try, the faster I'll die for it," She finally said, as she let silence envelop the morosely, bare room.

"You _have _to keep strong, Marissa," Ryan said firmly, but Marissa wouldn't dare listen. His voice erupted too much pain inside of her, to bare. Soon, Ryan was overwhelmed with the relentless tattoo of the disconnected line. After listening to it, for quite some time, and after having the unyielding sound etch into his brain, he simply turned his cell phone off, and stared into the deepest corner of his ceiling. He didn't know _what _he was feeling, and he would much rather keep it that way, however Marissa's soft, and hurt voice kept challenging his desperate mind- he had done that to her, he had made her suffer so uncontrollably.

Had he stayed in Chino with his abusive father, and his drunken, alcoholic mother, Marissa would be happy now as she moved. Had Ryan had the guts to refuse Sandy Cohen's offer on staying in their house, they would never had discovered such a fruitful relationship, that they would have to give up in the end. Had Ryan stuck to his own kind of people, Marissa would be okay.

He couldn't help but feel tremendously guilty for it all. He very well understood that Marissa's heart belonged with him, and that he couldn't let her go, but he simply did not understand how he would come about actually letting the beautiful, brunette simply swept out of his most precious memories. He wondered if Marissa cared about him, still. He wondered if she would forever remember everything they had gone through, and in a way, continuously love him in the darkest pit of her heart. He wondered if Marissa would ever _truly _let go, and allow herself to be torn away from all that she had left behind.

No matter how much Ryan wondered about everything, he couldn't help but feel wet tears soaking his face. He quickly pushed them away, with a simple flick of his arm. He tried to breathe deeply, but something was grasping him from the center of his stomach, and would not let his breaths out correctly; rather, in short, detached wheezes. Ryan didn't know how he could survive, if day by day, he would feel that drenching pain in his body, expanding as each minute trickled on by.

Ryan felt a faint knock on the door, and his spirits sunk once he realized it couldn't possibly be Marissa. He walked over t o the door silently, as he opened it only an inch. He saw Seth's dreary face on the other end, "I knew you wouldn't be sleeping," He lowered his gaze, "I figured you might need someone to talk to," He started, and as much as Ryan tried to smile, it was as though his body was completely absolved of that natural ability. Ryan nodded, as he fixed his dishevelled hair, and pointed toward the couch. Seth sat down shyly, "Listen Ryan, you look like a mess," He finally said, worriedly.

"Is that what you came here to tell me?" Ryan asked, his fragile emotions ready to splinter,

"No, no," Seth said reassuringly, as he stared at Ryan, "Look," He started, "You gotta be strong, Ryan; Release the Chino kid," Seth immediately realized it wasn't time for his stupid sense of humour, "Sorry, but, Ryan! For God's sake, she'll be back one day," He started unconfidently, not knowing how much of the conversation Ryan would actually absorb, "It's a little late, yes, but do you want to go out and grab some late night dinner? It looks like you haven't eaten in years,"

"I'm not hungry," Ryan said brusquely, as he started to fumble with his fingers, as he lowered his head, "Listen, Seth. There's absolutely _nothing _you can say, that will make me feel better. You've never felt something like this- never," Ryan looked at Seth, "It's when you really know that you're in skin deep, and you can't do anything about," He started, "I know you love Summer, and pray to God that you'll never lose her like I'm losing Marissa," He closed his eyes, "Now, don't ask me if I'm okay- because I'm not. Don't ask me if I'm going to be okay- because I also, won't be; without Marissa, I won't be,"

Seth looked up him, and he felt a sting of pity for Ryan. He was the tough-boy of Newport- not someone who fell apart for a girl, but Seth understood just what this girl meant to him, "Listen, I'm not even going to tell you it's going to be _okay, _but I have to say, I've been through this; When I sailed to Portland, I left Summer behind and it took me _so _long to get her back afterwards. Maybe the quirky, happy, spunky Seth didn't show how much he missed her, but God, I tell you, that girl killed a lot of my lifelines," Seth pressed his lips together, wondering if Ryan felt at all comforted,

"But you did it, because you wanted to," Ryan told Seth, "Marissa left because she _had _to,"

"Correction, not to depress you or anything, she _could _have stayed, Ryan. She _chose _to go with her family," Seth said, as he felt a sense of stupidity wash over him, "Listen, whatever her reasons were for leaving, she still loves you, man. You were the first guy she _ever _loved, and trust me; that counts for a _lot _of chick-points."

"Seth, whatever reasons you have, for coming in here in the middle of the night, just drop it. You don't understand," Ryan muttered, as his spirits sunk.

"Ryan," Seth said again, and this time Ryan looked up firmly, "I only want to see you out of your 'phase'. If you're going to get over her, you might as well start sooner than later. It'll be easier to get passed this, if you stop wallowing, and start living. It's like this girl cut a vessel from your body, and left you to die; she _didn't, _" Seth added, "The only way things will get better, is if you let it." Seth said, and as he left he patted Ryan on the back. Soon, Ryan heard the door click, as it closed.


	6. Chapter SIX

Chapter Six

Ryan was left to think about Seth Cohen's endearing words. They writhed against his every hope, and doubt. The image of Marissa continuously flung itself into his mind: he could barely let go, he could barely think to ever let go.

He knew Seth wouldn't leave him alone. He knew that the consecutive knocks on the door, would be him with his face hanging low with unselfish attempts to get Ryan's spirits up. Ryan grumbled, as he threw his head back against his bed listening to the silent, selfless whispers that Seth had to offer, "Ryan," he said, and after realizing he was not going to answer, nor look up at him, he continued, "I'm kind of expecting you to do something stupid," he said, as he paced across the room nervously, "And all I'm saying, is that suicide is _not _the answer," he tried hopelessly to make Ryan smile, and yet he felt the matters worsening by the second, "Just a warning, Ryan. While you're all brooding and depressed, at least _try _to laugh at my jokes, okay?"

"Seth, if you can understand, there's not a single even _pity_-laugh I could give you. There's just nothing left," he said emotionlessly. His face was distorted into an oddly calm, but deepened sadness. Seth clasped his head in between his hand, realizing how doomed the situation was. He let Ryan absorb the only temporary silence he was going to be blessed with.

"I'm going to sit here, until you smile. Until you show me, that you're capable of moving on. I'm not asking for much man, maybe like, a millimeter of movement, okay? That's as much as I want to see you move on, right now. Actually, I wouldn't even call it moving on. Just _moving."_ Seth spoke slowly, but sternly as he started to ramble, "You can't sit on this bed for eternity, Ryan. You just can't. That's why I'm going to annoy the hell out of you, so that you punch me, or _something _so I know you're listening." Seth smiled satisfied with his plan, "So Ryan," he paused, thinking of things to say.

Ryan raised his head lightly, glaring at Seth, "I _will _punch you, Seth. But I'm not getting out of this place," he said in an angered tone, hoping to get his message across, "Now you can shut up, or just _leave._" Although Ryan would much rather drown in his misery, he appreciated Seth's forceful company in the darkest altitude of his being.

Seth let a small smile linger across his face, one that held a spur of hope for Ryan. Seth didn't say a word, for a glistening fear that Ryan would carry on with his anger and actually hit him with such force that would knock him right out of the pool house. But soon he could barely resist. "_Go to New York, Ryan." _He said in a forceful tone, so that Ryan could not resist. Ryan looked up at him, and shook his head silently, "I'm not kidding either!" Seth said with a quirky voice that meant business, "You're going. I'm driving you to the airport- Heck! I'm coming with you!" he smiled with pride, as his eyes foretold an impetuous essence of true friendship.

"Seth," Ryan was about to debate, argue, stop Seth's scampering body already ready to leave.

Seth shot him a glare, as he raised an eyebrow cleverly, "If you don't go, I _will. _And I'm sorry to say, that I'm going to give her all the sorry goodbyes you wouldn't," he joked, but his face was as hard as a rock not betraying any sense of charade. Ryan looked up at him, almost begging him to simply sit down and let him bask in his own misery, "So, are you coming?"

Ryan didn't know what to say, "I don't even know _where _she lives."

Seth scavenged for Ryan's cell-phone, as he threw it over quietly. He folded his arms, as though wondering what Ryan would do next, "Seth, it's three in the morning!" Ryan said, as a final defense.

"Fine!" Seth said, "We'll go, and once we get to the Big Apple, _then _you'll call." He shrugged, "Even better. Then she can't refuse your arrival," he grinned, as though satisfied. Usually, Ryan would not think twice to listen to Seth's morose and pitiful ideas. But this time, he felt a spark of future in this one. He longed to run his hand through her golden hair, and to graze his lips against hers for the final time. He wished to say a prolonged goodbye, which she deserved so forthrightly, "Judging by the lack of disputes, we can go?"

Ryan let out a slumbering groan, which trailed off into a silent, unconvinced whisper by the end. Seth smirked softly, taking the answer as a _yes, _"Grab a few things. I'll be back with a few of mine. Don't worry Ryan, I'll only be there for moral support. The actual Marissa-confrontation, I'll leave you alone with. Unless, of course. You decide, not to come?" Seth stared at him, in the pit of his stomach wondering why he had such control over Ryan. Oh, but then again, he knew. It was Marissa that he wished to see, and his idea upon doing that was not half-bad, actually. In the pit of his stomach, he wished Ryan would gather his stuff as quickly as time would allow so that he could not think of reasons not to go, "Hurry up, Ryan. You'll be glad you did." Seth said, as he walked through the pool house doors, leaving Ryan in the pool house once more to drown in contemplation.


	7. Chapter SEVEN

Chapter Seven.

Seth returned, with a small, but plump duffle bag swung over his shoulder. Ryan looked at him inquisitively, "I hope you don't think we're staying there for long," Ryan said, as he started to zip a back pack only barely filled with a change of clothes, and some money, "I'm going to say goodbye, Seth. I'm not moving there," he said, as he sighed, "Maybe this isn't such a good idea- she won't want to see me," he said, closing his eyes as though filled to the brim with stress, and utmost confusion.

"You're an idiot if you think she's sleeping right now," Seth muttered, "I can see it now- her pillow is probably wet with tears, her face swollen from crying, and her mind begging her to go to sleep. Reminds me of a certain someone I know," Seth stared at him dryly, folding his arms over his chest, waiting for him to rebound with some sort of witty comment.

Instead, Ryan simply pushed back the thought of Marissa so miserable, as hewalked through the door, "Let's go." He said, not allowing himself to think about it further. In a way, he hoped Seth was right. Although he felt guilty about it, he wished that Marissa wasn't already ready to move on, and wasn't already absorbed in the fast-paced New York City lifestyle. Seth patted him on the shoulder once, with an almost hefty slap but Ryan knew it was only an encouraging gesture to know that he had someone behind him through the whole way.

Seth almost admired Ryan's determination to remove the tear-swept gaze of Marissa, as he imagined it thoroughly in his mind, "Ryan," Seth said lightly, as he stood at the end of the driveway, waiting for the taxi that he had called in moment's earlier, "If you ever need to talk, during or after the trip, I'm here, okay?" Seth said in his most reassuring tone. Ryan shrugged, as he pocketed his hands, "Ryan, I'm serious. I know at times I can be an _idiot, _which I hate to admit, but seriously. I know what you're going through," Ryan continued to stare straight ahead of him. He was afraid that although Seth might understand what he's going through, Ryan wouldn't even be able to put his thunderous emotions into any comprehensible words. Even now, shriveled with excitement deep inside, and confusion, and terror as to what Marissa would say, he couldn't tell Seth that. In fact, he couldn't even manage to reply to his appealing words of comfort.

The next few minutes they dwelled in silence. When the taxi cab pulled up in a rushing state, Seth and Ryan climbed into the car.

"Where to?" the man said in a heavy accent, that neither Seth nor Ryan could distinguish. They gave each other a glance, and Seth took the role to reply.

"The airport, please." Seth said simply, "And please hurry, my friend over here has a lady to see." The cab driver smirked, as he hit the gas pedal only enough to go about ten above the speed limit. Seth rolled his eyes and muttered, "Well, not exactly what I meant by the _vroom vroom." _He said, so that the man couldn't hear him. He realized the cab driver was patient enough to haul himself over to the Cohen Residence at such a late hour. Seth shot a glance at Ryan, to make sure he was okay, but Ryan didn't even realize he was being watched. He kept a steady glance at the road outside his window, admiring what simple things basked in the fearful darkness.

When they reached the airport, Seth paid the man after grabbing his things. Ryan felt a chill running down his spine, cooling his entire body. He took a deep break, gripping his backpack a little tighter, hoping to relieve himself of the fear that was gripping his insides so remorselessly, "Ryan, you'll be fine." Seth broke the silence, as he took the lead into the airport. Ryan trudged along behind him, not sure if he was supposed to carry on, or simply take the next eager cab back home. Seth was already at the desk, asking for the price of tickets when Ryan just got inside. He made his way over to him, and saw that Seth had already taken care of everything. Ryan laid down his share of money on the counter, for the lady to retrieve, and they were soon on their way, to their proper gate.

Once they crossed the metal detectors, and people, and gates, and more people, it all seemed to Ryan like a huge blur. When the finally sat down, Ryan let out a mighty sigh, as he leant his head against the seat, almost unable to think clearly. The only thing that was occupying his mind, was the fact that he was going to see Marissa. The fact that he was so excited about seeing Marissa. And the fact that she might not be as excited to see him.

"Seth! What if she doesn't want to see me any more? What if I'm the reason he left?" he asked abruptly, with a certain curiosity, and a demand to know. Seth shook his head, with a heave of a sigh.

"Don't be dumb, Ryan. You'll be lucky if she doesn't jump on you, or something." Seth replied boredly, as he continued to dream about sweet-nothings.

"Seth, you don't get it. She left, because she _wanted _to. Even you said so! What if she's _already _moved on, and she doesn't want me to come and visit her?"

"What if, what if, what if? Well _what if _she's praying to God right now, that you'll be her night in shining armor, to sweep her off her feet and bring her back to Newport?" Seth answered, slightly amused by Ryan's simple afflictions.

"I'm not going to New York to bring her back," he pointed out.

"So, you're going to see her. And she'll be equally excited, and you better believe it." Seth said, barely tolerating his apprehensiveness. Seth knew in his mind that no matter how badly Ryan could have screwed up in the passed, Marissa would be ecstatic to see his face after being separated such a distance, for what would appear to be a long time.

"I can't wait to see her," Ryan simply said, in a tone almost filled with disbelief, hope and again, dismal fear.


	8. Chapter EIGHT

Chapter Eight.

Ryan sat in his seat, fumbling with his finger tips. He couldn't help but feel that very emotion in the pit of his stomach. It was the very emotion that he felt the first time he saw Marissa Cooper, or the first time his lips met hers. It was a cooling feeling that spread all over his body. It made him shiver and twist in his seat every once in a while, when he could not relieve himself of the anticipation.

Their flight was already delayed about an hour. Ryan wondered why he was practically glued to his seat, and unable to leave the airport as much as his writhing nervousness pleaded him. He could barely say a word to Seth; even so, he had no idea what to say. He was terrified out of his wits. He was going to see her, and he didn't even know _why _he was so anguished. He couldn't believe that she had been there about a day before, and now she was about a couple of thousand miles away.

He figured it was just one nasty nightmare, one that kept fleeting his already troubled mind. He begged himself to consider the outcomes. Would she be happy with his arrival? Would she care that he was there to see her? Did she want to simply move on, and forget all that she left in Newport?

Questions flew into Ryan's mind like a thunderous wave hoping to swallow up a friendly swimmer. He could neither control them, nor see through these questions and worries and anxieties.

Ryan tried to figure out, how his whole body would survive this break-up. He hadn't seen Marissa for only one day, and already his heart was aching, his words were scarce, his feelings were ubiquitous. He knew that he couldn't bring Marissa back to Newport. He also knew he couldn't simply gather his things, and move to New York with her. There was nothing he could do to face the abominable understanding that him and Marissa were just simply, over.

"Hey, Ryan," Seth said gently, as he tapped Ryan's arm. Seth was tired of the tremendous silence- he wanted to get Ryan's mind off of the afflictions in front of him. He looked up at Seth, his face burdened and bothered. He didn't say a word in reply, but Seth knew he had grasped his attention, "Wow, time sure flies when you're having _fun_, eh Ryan? Our plane's leaving in about ten minutes," Seth heaved a great sigh. For him, this hour was absolute torture. While Ryan's thoughts were a mess, Seth had nothing to put together in his orderly mind. He simply sat there quietly, for the sake of Ryan's fragile sanity.

"This was fun?" Ryan asked him, almost hoping to taste his sarcasm.

"I, I," Seth stuttered, as he closed his eyes. Somehow his dry humour rarely entertained anymore, "I was just kidding, Ryan. I know you're all depressed and everything, but can you at least show some appreciation toward my jokes?" Seth started to gather up his things, placing his bag on his lap.

Ryan rolled his eyes, as he started to follow Seth's lead, as to gathering up his things, "Seth, back at home you said you understood exactly what I was going through," Seth looked up at him, and nodded inquisitively.

"I do," he said, his face distorted into an almost '_Get-to-the-point-Ryan' _image.

"I don't think you do, though," he continued, ignoring Seth's facial expression. Ryan's face was hard and tense, and it barely betrayed a single emotion, "All this time you're treating this like a _joke. _It's just _all _a joke, right? You find it funny that I'm so miserable, and Marissa's halfway across the world?" Ryan gulped, as he started to become more and more uneasy.

"Dude relax, okay? You're all stressed out, and I'm only here to try and make you feel somewhat better. But I can scratch the jokes, if you want," Seth said, in his gentle lisp, his voice grim and serious, "Listen, if you just want an acquaintance that doesn't talk, I'll be that. If you want someone to help you see 'the light', I'll also be that."

Ryan simply glared at him, unable to express his annoyance. He groaned, as he heaved his things over his shoulder, as he started to walk toward the slowly forming line. Seth quickly followed him, chattering incessantly about little nothings. In a moment, Ryan turned around so that he was face to face with Seth.

"Seth, I don't need this right now," he said, as he took a deep breath toward his gut, "You know what I need right now? I need you to sit in the aisle-seat, and just _shut up _because I swear, I can't listen to you right now," he said menacingly, and Seth simply nodded.

Seth was utterly bewildered. He understood that Ryan was in a tough spot right now, but he felt like a target for his splitting anger, "You know what Ryan?" This made Ryan turn back around toward Seth, and simply stare at him as though he had it over his head with Seth, "I'm just going home. Clearly, you don't need me right now," Seth nodded, "Say Hi to Marissa for me, will you?"


	9. Chapter NINE

Chapter Nine.

Ryan threw his head back, and let out an annoyed groan. He closed his eyes, wondering what he was still doing in that damned airport, and why he even thought that going to see Marissa Cooper, was such a pleasant idea. As Ryan watched Seth ambling through the gate, his voice let out an oppressive call, that made Seth turn his head, "Seth, come back," Ryan said, his voice slightly annoyed, still. However, Ryan understood that if it hadn't been for his quirky friend, he would not have moved an inch out of the pool house for God knows how long. Seth looked up, and sighed walking over to Ryan as though hiding a superior grin.

"I know you needed me," Seth smiled, "I'm flattered, Ryan. _Flattered." _

"Shut up, Seth," Ryan said, as he watched the line advance slowly, and readily. Seth stood there beside him, silenced by the thought of another one of Ryan's anger-relapses. As the crowd buzzed around them lazily, for it was merely three in the morning, Ryan and Seth soon reached the front of the line, handing the flight attendant their tickets eagerly. The lady gave the two boys a peculiar stare, as though she suspected them of fleeing from a mass murder or something, "Is something wrong?" Ryan said, his voice a little quivery.

"Nah," she smiled, in an almost understanding manner, unable to take her eyes off Ryan. As they turned to leave the lady, for the last step of their departure, the lady smiled up at Ryan, and said,

"Go get her, boy," she said, and winked. Ryan was amazed at the fact that she had guessed directly at the source of the problem, but before he could question the lady, Seth was dragging him toward the narrow hallway leading to the entrance of the plane. Ryan continued to stare at the peculiar woman, watching her as she resumed her work busily. How had she known? Was it completely obvious that he was absolutely heartbroken?

He shook his head lightly, trying to obliterate the awkwardness of the situation from his mind, "Ryan, you alright?" Seth asked quickly, seeing how pale Ryan suddenly turned. Ryan turned to him abruptly, and nodded vigorously taking a gulp of his cold spit.

"Yeah, fine," he mustered more confidently, as he continued to walk with his backpack slung over his shoulder. Once they finally got to the airplane, as much as Ryan doubted the event to come, he had no choice but to remain seated with his seatbelt tight against his waist like the stewardesses liked. He sat there, enthralled in a mass rage of thoughts that he could neither control nor understand. He continued to wonder why that lady knew so much, and he looked around nervously to see if she was anywhere in the airplane's premises. He caught a glimpse of her golden-brown, aging hair as she attended to one of the flyers needs. He studied her few wrinkles that added to her wise, and confident persona. As she came down the aisle, Ryan pretended to busy himself looking up at the precise moment that she hovered over him.

"Is everything alright here?" she said, that peculiar smile of hers plastered on her lips. Ryan looked up and nodded, and as the lady turned to leave he grabbed a hold of her arm, tugging on it with only so much force as to get her attention.

"Miss," Ryan said politely, looking up at her inquisitively, "How did you know? About the girl?"

She smiled a warm, and comfortable smile that seemed to extend as long as it would go, "Honey, a woman can always see the tale of heartbreak in a man's eyes," she said, her smile never fading nor faltering, "Good luck," she said, looking down at him intently, feeling a sense of pride as though she had answered a multitude of questions. She continued to walk down the aisle. Ryan was still left confused, and bewildered, and only Seth's questioning voice cracked the immense thoughts that were straying about his mind.

"Do you know her?" he said, his eyes wide and wondering.

"No," Ryan muttered quietly in reply, and yet he decided to shake it all off, like dust from a pair of new shoes. He decided that his main goal at the moment, was to arrive at New York without letting his whirling stomach get the absolute best of him in a potential nausea.

Seth decided that now would be the moment for quiet reflection. Before the air plane started, he decided to leave a message on Summer's cell phone. He knew her oh-too-well. At three o'clock in the morning, her cell phone was usually on a silent vibrate, so he had nothing to worry about. He figured however, that his girlfriend would like to know why he's out of the state.

To his surprise, a very crabby, a very moody Summer Roberts clicked open the cell phone, muttering incomprehensible words into the phone, "Hey Sum, are you sleeping?" Seth asked dumbly, knowing that upon his return, Summer would kill him for cutting her beauty sleep short. Summer groaned on the other line, not bearing to answer him, so he continued, "Well, to make a long story short- Marissa moved tonight, Ryan couldn't take it, now I'm at the airport with Ryan, and we're going to have a cute little reunion with Marissa. So I'll see you in a few days, okay Summer?"

Summer seemed to almost dash upward, as she sat up, "Cohen!" she shrieked, not realizing how quiet and deserted her house was. Her voice seemed to echo endlessly throughout the darkness, "_Why _didn't you take me? Coop _is _my best friend, you idiot. What's she to you? Ryan's girlfriend?" she barked snappishly, glaring straight ahead of her, "Are you on the plane?" she demanded to know, with a sense of authority.

"Yes, Summer, I'm on the plane," he replied queasily, his stomach churning. Why hadn't he thought of his petite, tiny companion that he had grown to call his own? "Do you want me to stop the plane for you, Summer?" he asked almost mockingly, trying to calm her down.

"Cohen, don't play a smart ass. I'm your _girlfriend, _and you don't take me on your little road trip thing?" she continued to speak in her specific tone of voice, "I'm just letting you know, Seth that the minute you come back, I'm going to shove something down your throat- maybe your comic books, cause I don't like them much," she said. Her voice was lazy and tired, and she could barely muster the energy to continue yelling at him, "While you're there, tell Coop that I would be there had I been _invited_. But whatever, say hi, tell her I miss her, and please tell her to take care of herself, okay Cohen? Don't forget. Love you, creep. Bye," she said, hanging up the phone intently, as she crashed back down against her pillow. Seth shoved his cell phone into his front pocket before a flight attendant would tell him to do so.

"Was that Summer?" Ryan asked casually, as he folded his arms across his chest boredly.

"Yeah, that, that was Summer," he said, pressing his lips together as he nodded, "Note to self Ryan, next time we plan some sort of getaway, let's _invite _the Misses," he smiled gently. He couldn't help but imagine how cute she looked all angry and moody.

"Was she that mad?" Ryan seemed to smirk at the thought.

"Well, annoyed, mad. I presume she's going to shove a comic book down my throat when I get back," he said, his voice light and cheery.

"How do you know that?" Ryan stifled a weak laugh, as he listened.

"'Cause she told me," Both Ryan and Seth smiled, and within a matter of time, the plane darted off the airport's smooth, gray plains of pavement. Soon, the familiar hum of the airplane climbing further into the air enveloped them, droning on with infallible persistence. As the two started to accustom to the noise, the weariness of the hour began to stir the tiredness within them. As Seth laid his head back against the seat, Ryan continued to look around crisply, preoccupied with the various matters that blanketed his tired mind. As he listened to the quiet whispers of the people around him, his heavy eyelids started to weigh down as he slowly fell into a deep, and exhausted sleep.


	10. Chapter TEN

Chapter Ten

"We are now landing in New York. Passengers, please put on your seat belts- we are now landing in New York." A cheerful voice spun into the dream swept mind of Ryan, as he started to open his eyes lightly. A stream of light emerged from the window, as it stung his eyes. He started to rub them grumpily, after which he looked around lazily, his hair a sheer mess.

"Hey Seth," he said with a husky yawn, as he started to scratch the back of his neck. He turned his attention to a grinning Seth, "Why are you so giddy?"

"Why _aren't you?_" He retorted quickly, as he opened the window to its full extent, illuminating an entire circumference. They were still high up in the glazed clouds, but they could feel the air plane rolling lower in their ears.

"'Cause, I'm tired," Ryan smirked- he seemed to be in a better mood than he was in yesterday. It was almost as though he had forgotten the purpose of his trip.

"Are we forgetting who we're seeing today?" Seth asked, studying Ryan's blank expression. Ryan let out a harsh laugh, as though his insides were beating violently. He tried to conceal that worry that was nestled inside of him, so that it would not retrieve the best of him. As much as worry was writhing and twisting in the bottom of his stomach, he wanted to appear cool and civilized- indifferent, and calm.

"Yeah, who?" Ryan rolled his eyes with a grin, as he spoke with dry sarcasm in his voice, "Don't worry Seth, I remember. Kind of hard to forget if we're halfway across the U.S." He let out another yawn, outstretching his muscular arms far above his head. He let them drop to his side, as he sat back against the seat comfortably.

"I see we're in a better mood today, though," Seth commented briskly, with a light grin, "Unless there's some fierce lioness inside of you Ryan, that I need to know about? Cause you know chicks- they lash out at you at any given moment," Seth started to '_rawr_' very quietly, as he scrunched up his fingertips imitating a vicious lion for a moment. Ryan simply turned his head, trying to suppress his laughter. He pretended to ignore Seth for the moment of his absurdity.

"No lioness- no lion either, for that matter," Ryan said, after Seth had regained his cool, "You have _way _too much time on your hands, Seth. You know what you should do?" Seth looked up with a nod, "You should call Summer- that lioness, I'm sure, will lash out on you 'cause yesterday I presume she was too tired to get it all out." Ryan smirked, silently grateful that he wasn't in Seth's position. Although, after some quiet reconsideration, his situation wasn't all that great either.

As Seth continued to babble at how horrendous the idea was, Ryan couldn't help but think about the worst. What if Marissa just wanted to move on? What if she didn't want to see Ryan? The questions haunted his mind repeatedly. Every time he started, the questions seemed to wound in his mind, causing a turmoil of indignation, and anxiety. Ryan nodded, pretending to listen to his companion with genuine interest, while his mind was being polluted with persistent _what-ifs. _

As Ryan presumed, the landing took no more than about twenty minutes, and soon the plane's wheels were screeching and scraping against the pavement. With a furious halt, the passengers buzzed off the plane simultaneously, like a wave. Ryan and Seth were gathering their luggage, pushing through the throng of impatient people.

Finally, after passing through the Customs gates, they were on their way through the large glass doors that separated them from the chilly outside, "Damn, we should have dressed for the season," Seth said, as a shiver ran down his spine. Although it was only October, in Newport the sweltering sun was a standard. Now that they were in New York, the chilly breeze stabbed at their faces, as they waited for an available cab.

"Came here to visit?" A voice interrupted their little complaints about the weather. Both Ryan and Seth's jaws dropped, as they looked over at a beautiful blonde, barely clad in more than a tank top and a skirt. Seth nodded vigorously, trying hard not to relinquish the inner geek in him.

"Uh, yeah. And you're not cold?" Ryan couldn't help but to question her, and her deliberate smirk made him blush only lightly.

"What, does my excessive skin bother you?" Ryan could sense a light accent in her speech, as she studied them wearily, "I'm waiting for my boyfriend," she started to explain.

"_Okay,_" Seth interrupted, as he poked at Ryan's side carefully, urging him to make a move toward the cabs, "Very nice to meet you lady, but he's kind of here for his own girlfriend kind of thing. So yeah," He proceeded to drag Ryan to a golden taxi cab that stopped just in front of the curb. The two swung their bags into the back, as they entered.

"Where to?" The man said urgently, and Ryan turned to Seth quickly. _Where to? _That really was quite the question. Seth looked back at Ryan knowingly, as he grabbed a five dollar bill from his wallet, slapping it into the hand of the driver.

"Sorry, we still have to figure that out," Seth said, as he hopped out of the car, with Ryan quickly behind him. The cab seemed to drive away, with a feel of frustration that the boys had wasted his time, "Hm, good question. Where to, Ryan?" Seth finally said, wondering the exact thing that Ryan was.

"I guess we should just, I don't know- call her cell phone? That mustn't have changed, right?" Ryan said, trying to think of ways to reach Marissa. It was still early in the morning, he presumed- but a visit like this just couldn't wait.

"Go for it," Seth replied, as he pulled out his cell phone, "Here, use mine,"

Within a matter of moments, Ryan was dialing Marissa's cell phone number. Although he wanted to know where she lived, he didn't want to betray the surprise just yet. When she picked up her phone, her soothing voice overcame Ryan's ability to speak for a moment.

"Hello?" Marissa repeated, this time more inquisitively.

"Marissa," Ryan said, his face illuminated with a deep grin. It was all he needed to hear, in order to make his day- the simple, hello. For some reason, in her soft and fragile voice, Ryan distinguished pain, and sadness- it almost sounded as though she was crying, "Marissa, I just wanted to know,"

"Know what, Ryan?" she said, the tears more apparent in her voice now, more than ever. She sounded as though she were on the verge of sobbing, "You can't keep doing this to me-"

"I wanted to know where you live, in case I was in the area some time, or something?" Ryan interrupted her subtly, as he turned to Seth's questioning look, as though saying "_You are in the area, you idiot."_

Marissa kept silent for a moment, "8790 24th Street," she whispered softly, and what Ryan didn't see was the swift motion of her fingertips that absolved her face of the tears that swarmed it.

"How are you doing?" he said, mentally memorizing the street, but more importantly, the exact sound of her voice.

"Oh you know, I'm great like always," she said, rubbing more tears out of her eyes. She wouldn't let him realize that she had spent her first night back in absolute depression.

"You're great?" As much as Ryan would like her to be happy, he didn't want her to move on. He wanted to feel wanted, and missed, and loved. He tried to hide the tinge of disappointment in his voice- perhaps she really did just want to move on? Perhaps this visit just wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. Maybe Marissa Cooper, was stronger than him emotionally, and able to detach herself from the most difficult of situations in a matter of hours. Perhaps, it was all a lie, "That's good to hear, Marissa," he muttered.

Marissa, immediately realizing that he had been fooled, continued to say, "Are you kidding me, Ryan? You actually believe that bull?"

"Well I don't know," Ryan muttered, slightly embarrassed that he let his mind get all worked up once more, "I want you to be happy, I really do,"

"You just don't want me happy yet, right? Too soon, I know," Marissa finished for him quietly, "So I bet half of Newport already knows you're single, huh?" She said, her voice tired and weary.

"No, no not at all, Marissa," Ryan said, "But I bet all your neighbours are chatting about the beauty that moved in," he smiled to himself, as he recalled Marissa's prominent smile, one that he had seen many times before.

"Mmm, of course," she said, smiling weakly, "Alright, Ryan. I'm going to go." Marissa said solemnly, about to hang up.

"But wait-" Ryan tried to continue the almost pleasant conversation, but Marissa was keen on finishing it.

"But _no. _I'm going to go." She said, with a tone of finality, and authority. Ryan couldn't argue with a statement like that, and he was neither surprised nor shocked when he heard the buzzing of the disconnected line, instead of Marissa's gentle voice. Ryan closed Seth's phone with a light flip, and handed it to him.

"Did you get the address?" Seth asked, after which Ryan nodded lightly.

"Yeah, got it,"


	11. Chapter ELEVEN

(_Thank you all_ _for the wonderful comments. Now that I have some spare time on my hands, I'll write as much as I can. Keep the comments coming. I'm contemplating whether or not to finish this fan fiction at Marissa and Ryan's meeting. Ideas? Also, please keep in mind: The street names, and addresses are all fiction_ _made up for the purpose of the story.)_

Chapter Eleven

Ryan started to walk in a different direction, one where the wind harassed them uncontrollably, stretching across their faces fiercely. Seth tried to catch up to his quick walk, but more so, he wanted to know where Ryan was heading so urgently, and why. Seth managed to grasp Ryan's shoulder, turning him around firmly, "What's going on?" Seth asked, curiosity pounding at his breathless chest. It wasn't often that the wind was so overpowering in Newport, that they could barely walk against it, "What'd she say?"

Ryan wished that he could speak about Marissa with such indifference- _she. _Marissa wasn't just any _she. _She happened to be the love of his life, that was taken away from him so brutally and heartlessly, "She said she had to go," Ryan said with a shrug, as he continued to walk, diminishing the speed at which his legs carried him.

"Go where?" Seth asked quickly, working hard to stay at Ryan's pace, "What's going on? Where are you going?" The horrid weather carried away most of his voice, making it almost impossibly to speak at a normal, conversational tone. Ryan simply stopped abruptly, leaving Seth to take some solitary steps ahead, "What is going on?" Seth asked, more as a demand then question this time, seeing that his politeness was getting him nowhere.

"Nothing's going on," Ryan muttered.

"Then _where _are you going?" Seth asked briskly, sincerely wondering what was going on in his friend's mind.

"I don't know," Ryan asked as honestly as he knew how. In that moment, he felt like he needed some air- so he started to walk, regardless of the fact that Seth could barely catch up. He didn't know what he was going to do. He didn't know where he was going, even. Time was simply carrying on, whisking everything and everyone from their feet, sabotaging the natural course of events.

"Ryan, we need to sit down, and think of a plan. We can't just carry on, not knowing what the hell is going to happen next. If you haven't noticed, New York is pretty big, my friend. We'd have a lot of ground to cover, if we're going to walk," Seth tried to relinquish his friend, that had been so deeply lost in the clouds above, "Let's go to some café, or pub or something, grab a beer, really _relax, _and then think of how we're going to play this out," Seth said calmly, watching Ryan's blank face.

"This isn't some game, Seth," Ryan said, his feathers obviously ruffled by the comment. Seth threw his head back- somehow everything he said was wrong in Ryan's eyes at the moment.

"It's an expression," Seth said, heaving a great sigh, "You know what? We're going to go to a pub, I say, and think of what we're going to do next, in this un-gamely situation," Seth said, as he turned around scanning the rows of buildings that were clattered like piano keys, searching for a place to go, "And until then, no bitch-fits please," Seth said, ignoring Ryan's contemptuous glare. When Seth spotted the nearest pub, with flashing neon lights melting into the day, he quietly led them toward it. They entered the small, but oddly comfortable-looking place, with a swift push of the door, walking inside neatly.

Seth studied the crowd- he figured, that it wasn't anything that he hadn't seen in the Bait Shop. They continued to proceed to one of the barstools, hauling over one of the bartenders.

"Anything you want?" He questioned nonchalantly, as he held a glass in his hand, and a cloth in the other, wiping it clean.

"Just a beer," Seth nodded to himself, pressing his lips together, "Two," he added with a silly grin. Ryan turned to Seth, shaking his head lightly- there was no way the bartender would think that _he _was able to drink legally.

"ID?" he asked simply, a sheer spark of satisfaction in his gloomy eyes.

"Oh, well- ID. I kinda forgot it back in Newport," Seth laughed lightly, "Don't worry though, I tip fairly,"

"Do you tip nicely on some warm milk, or apple juice?" The bar tender mocked carefully, wondering how far he could play around with Seth. Ryan was already ready to leave, but Seth continued boldly.

"I want to beers!" What was supposed to sound like a manly demand, sounded like a schoolgirl whine, which made the crew of bartenders laugh quietly under their noses. Before Seth could make an even bigger fool of himself, Ryan grabbed him by the arm, dragging him out of the pub.

"At least one of 'em's smart," the bar tender called off behind them, smirking lightly. Once they were back against the chilly outdoors, Ryan looked over at Seth.

"Did you really think you would be able to get away with that?" Ryan asked, with an almost laughing expression.

Seth frowned, "Pah, yes." He replied earnestly, giving Ryan a smirk, "Let's concentrate on getting to that girl of yours, then, okay?" He smiled empathetically, pocketing his hands, "Since you know your address, let's just make our way there before we get jumped by some kids who _can _drink,"

Ryan laughed, "Okay, good idea. One of the best you've had," he laughed for a moment, before it was interrupted by the girl who was talking to them earlier- the same girl, that was wearing the tank top, and that frivolous skirt of hers.

"I see you two haven't gotten very far," she giggled gently, folding her arms across her chest.

"And I see your boyfriend didn't show," Seth replied ruthlessly. He didn't need yet another obstacle before they reached the new house of Marissa.

"Oh, defenses down, geek-boy," she smirked, "I noticed you two couldn't even get yourself a beer," she rolled her eyes, with a questioning smile, "So what are you guys looking for here in NY?" she asked, her voice more serious now.

"Well _he's,_" Seth pointed to Ryan awkwardly, "Looking for his _girlfriend,_"

"Aw, that's cute. Little tough-boy here, needs little geek-boy to speak for him," she smirked- her voice was oddly queer, and mocking.

"And little bitch-girl here, doesn't know when to _go away," _Seth continued with his dry, and immature retorts, unable to think clearly in the presence of the young, female beauty. He seemed mesmerized by her deep green eyes, that twinkled and sparkled like an emerald itself.

"Listen babe," she smirked, "It's not _you _I'm interested in," she laughed to herself lightly, as though mocking Seth's flaring expression. She took one devious step closer to Ryan, as though she were to attack him, with the force of a predator, "So what are you doing in New York?" she asked courteously, ignoring Seth's inquisitive stare. Ryan seemed to be completely dumbfounded by the girl's entrancing voice, and complete openness.

"Going to see my girlfriend," he replied coolly, as he turned his head away from the chilling stare of her glowing eyes.

"Oh, are you?"

"Yeah, _girlfriend,_" Seth cut in intrusively.

"Gotcha," she smirked, ready to leave, "Well listen- I know how far pretty boys get in NY. If you can't handle the Big Apple, give me a call," she bit her lip lightly, looking over at Ryan, as she pulled out a pen from her bag. Before Ryan could object, she jerked forward for his hand, scribbling a sloppy number onto his arm. She grinned at him lightly, raising an eyebrow, as she turned on her heel to leave.

"Wow, that was creepy," Seth muttered, when the gorgeous blonde was out of sight, "_Really, really _creepy," he corrected himself almost immediately, "Anyway, member Marissa?"

Ryan shook his head lightly, as though returning from his daze, "That was creepy," Ryan said, before he started to walk further on, a blank expression plastered on his face. It was as though he was deep in thought.

"That's what I just said," Seth muttered quietly, wondering what had gotten into Ryan. He decided not to question him, for his temper was probably brittle and fried. Seth understood that Ryan was nearing the moment of confrontation, and he needed time to think things through- quiet time. Seth squinted his eyes, in order to see the distant road sign that labeled the road on which they walked on, "So what'd you say Marissa's address was?"

"8790 24th Street," he replied, as though he were chanting it softly in his own, tired mind. Seth, although shocked by his reply that simply whipped through the air, he decided to mentally manage the numbers, trying to imagine what the new Cooper house would look like- another fine mansion? Or a run-down townhouse on the side of the road?

"Hold on, I'll go grab a map from some convenience store- I think I have some spare change. Hold on, will you?" Seth asked, as he noticed that they were passing right by a little shop, that was bound to have some sort of map of any kind. Ryan nodded as he watched Seth disappear into the store. He felt like one miserable cell, in the constantly moving and waddling horde of people. They all seemed to pressed for time, and as much as he wanted to see Marissa, he was scared to death of the actual confrontation. Before long, Seth wandered out of the shop, carrying a neatly folded map.

"We're good to go then?" Ryan asked, holding out his hand so that he could see the map. He opened it up curiously, searching for the 24th Street on the map intently. His glances were first occasional, and calm, but within a matter of moments, they began more pressed, "I can't find it," he said, awed by the thought of Marissa giving him a false address.

"_What?_" Seth asked firmly, jerking the map away from Ryan, studying it on his own, "Why would she do something like that?" Seth muttered, looking at over and over again, "She said she had to go, right?" Ryan nodded in reply, "Well then call her again- maybe she _really _had to go?"

"Yeah, coming from the girl who gave me a fake address," Ryan groaned, his frustration apparent. Once Seth saw his annoyance, he took out his own phone and dialed Marissa's cell phone. As Ryan watched Seth, he hoped that Seth would be successful in retrieving the address. The rings seemed to be as slow, and menacing as ever but soon, Seth heard a voice on the other end.

"Hello?" Marissa asked quietly.

Seth smirked to himself quietly, turning his back on Ryan, "Hello, this is the new owner of your home," Seth started, his voice heavily accented, "I've found something that I believe is yours, or your mothers. Is your mother around by the way?" Seth continued confidently, wondering if his little scheme would work.

"Sorry, but how did you get my cell phone number?" Marissa asked inquisitively.

"This is _your _cell phone number?" Seth huffed to himself lightly, as though appalled, "I was told that this was your mother's. Sorry for the inconvenience, but since I'm already on the line, do you mind grabbing her for me?"

"Yeah, fine," Marissa said, hollering for her mother to come upstairs, "It's for you," she said wonderingly, handing her the phone when she walked in.

"Hello?" Julie said into the phone.

"Hello, this is the new owner of your home. I'm sorry for bothering you, but I believe you or your daughter has left something back home, and I was wondering if I could send it back to you?" Seth said, ignoring Ryan's wide eyes, and dropped jaw. Seth simply smiled, entirely satisfied at how things were turning out.

"Oh, thank you Mr. Gabriel. I had a feeling I forgot something," Julie laughed lightly, "Do you have a pen?"

"Oh, yes, yes of course," Seth replied- he could barely believe how easy things were.

"Okay, good. Well then it's 6787 21st Street, New York," Julie continued with the rest of the address, continuously curious as to why the new owner had called Marissa. She shrugged, "I really appreciate this- thank you," she smiled gently, "I hope to hear from you soon, sir. Bye, now." Julie said, clicking the phone off. Seth and Ryan simply dwelled in a pleased silence, both grinning from ear to ear.

"How _did _you think of that?" Ryan laughed, "And you actually got the address?"

"Oh, cause I'm good Ryan," Seth continued in his deep voice, "Yeah, and I actually got it- hopefully real this time," he smirked, speaking in his normal voice this time around, "Let's get to 6787 21st Street," Seth said, scanning the map, and finding the street almost immediately. He realized that it was a bare kilometer at most, from where they stood. A quick stroll would do them good, after their long plane ride.


	12. Chapter TWELVE

(_Thank you so much for the reviews. I'd just like to let you know, that the next chapter, or the one after will be the last_ _chapters hence, why Chapter Twelve is so long. Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter Twelve

Ryan stood in front of the door, labeled 6787 in embossed, heavy print. It hung loosely over the mailbox, which seemed to be curiously empty- almost rusty, and hungering for some mail. Ryan's finger lingered over the doorbell, as though contemplating whether or not he should back out. He had left Seth in a café, and told him that he would be back soon. With a deep swallow, he pressed the doorbell, hearing the inner echo of a familiar tune. His heart was beating harshly as he heard approaching footprints from inside, and within a moment, the door swung open.

It was Marissa.

They simply gaped at each other.

Ryan stared at her puffy face, swollen with tears. Her eyes were still moist- her body looked frail. She was wearing a thick, loose-fitting sweater and her baggy pajama bottoms. The only make-up she had on was that which was smeared underneath her eyes, carried away by the multitude of her tears. Her hair was tangled, and tied up in a very messy ponytail. Even in this state, Ryan was absolutely awed by her tremendous beauty.

Marissa seemed to stare right back at him. Her eyes were almost frightened, as she looked at the speechless Ryan, that stood only feet away from her. The wind was running coarsely through his hair, as he stood there awkwardly, concentrating on her. He didn't have that same, warm expression on his face, that she had been so truly fond of. Now, it seemed to be burdened and pained.

She wiped away the traces of tears, running her hand over her eye. She continued to look at him wordlessly, trying to convince herself that he was actually there. She could barely control her actions, when she took a few urgent steps, and hung herself on his neck, embracing him in a deep, almost desperate kiss. It came to a shock to Ryan, but he eased into the kiss, placing his chilled hands against her waist, pulling her as close as he could manage.

He never wanted to loose her again. He never wanted to be apart of her infinitely loving hold. He wanted her for always, and all for himself.

Neither broke the kiss, in spite of how many words they wanted to tell each other. It seemed as though their emotions were spilling with every second of their kiss. It was as though Ryan felt exactly how she felt, and for once, they were like one. They were like one body, one soul- one unbreakable soul.

And finally, they both broke away, they're lungs bleeding for air. They're breaths were short, and hollow, as they continued to stare into each other's eyes. Ryan could see tears gathering in her eyes, and he pulled her close again, this time in a profound hug. He didn't want to let go, even if he was shivering as the wind pounded against him. He would rather freeze to death, than have to leave her again.

He inhaled the unique scent of her golden hair, closing his eyes as he continued to hug her lanky self. Marissa nestled her head onto his chest, her arms around his neck firmly. She sniffled lightly, but she knew it was going to be okay, at least for a while. She pulled away from the hug, and she spoke the first words of their encounter courageously, "Come in, Ryan," she said, her voice gentle. It seemed to almost crack, as she spoke in her tired voice, for the many sobs it had probably endured.

Ryan followed her inside, looking around the cozy townhouse. It already had the familiar tinge of the Coopers, wandering in and about the walls. Marissa led him into the kitchen, as she pointed to the table. She started to occupy herself around the cupboards, but Ryan stopped her, "Marissa," he said, meeting his eyes with hers, almost locking into their infinite splendor, "I came here to see you, talk to you, be with you. I'm not going to convince you to come back, or tell you that I'm going to move here with you- because honestly, it's as hard for me as it is for you. But knowing that you're a thousand miles away, kills me, and I just had to see you, so for the love of God, sit with me, talk with me Marissa…" he said, in an almost whisper, gazing at her. She succumbed to his gentle voice, as she sat down across from him, once again quieted.

She shook her head lightly to herself, feeling a tear trace against her cheek, "These past few days have been so hard," she whimpered. Ryan reached for her hand, enveloping it with his own palm. He nodded lightly, familiar with the exact searing pain deep in his heart. The touch of his palm felt so soothing to her. It had an almost magical feel to them, because as she concentrated on his smooth skin, her saddened tears ceased to flow, "I wish I hadn't moved, Ryan. I wish I could still be in Newport, with you guys because I just already know that life here is going to be just so-"

Ryan stopped her before she could continue. He knew that what was done, was done. She wouldn't move back to Newport. Nothing could be done about it, "Stop wishing like that," he said softly, breaking her train of thought, "You know that you can't do anything about it anymore. This is your home now," he said, barely believing the words that were fluttering out of his mouth. As much as he wanted her back, he was scared to death of raising their hopes, only to pluck them from sight again.

"This is _never _going to be my home," she retorted. The place seemed so alien to her. Every corner, or even tile that hugged the floor- it wasn't _hers. _She didn't feel like it was hers.

"It will be someday," Ryan tried to reassure her, remotely jabbing at his own wounds as he spoke. He knew that he didn't want it to be true. He felt guilty for wishing that she would be miserable here, so that one day she would come back to Newport. He loved her more than he could express in simple words, and as much as he wanted her happy, he didn't want to loose her. However, she was simply slipping away through the gaps between his fingers, and he was unable to stop it, unable to hold on.

"You know that's not true," she said, with a look of sheer disgust as she looked around the place, "You know you don't want that to be true." Ryan looked up at her, but as she continued, she consoled him, "Don't worry Ryan, I'm guilty of it too. I want you to be happy- I really do. I'd just much rather that you be happy with _me."_ The words stung him. He wanted the same thing. But as he heard it out loud, he knew that it was impossible. How would they renew that initial spark, miles and miles away? How could they be together, with such obstacles?

"Marissa," Ryan said softly, knowing the words that he was about to say would pain him more than anything, "I really do want you to be happy, though. With me, or without- I _need _you to be happy." Ryan's voice quivered, as he tried with all his mind to speak honestly. Marissa seemed to smirk.

"Without you?" she asked almost disbelievingly, "Yeah, whatever. I'm sure you'd be absolutely giddy if you saw me with someone else,"

"You know I wouldn't be giddy," he smiled comfortably, "But I just had to say it- even if it's not entirely true," Marissa laughed lightly, as he spoke. The atmosphere around them was starting to unravel. The awkwardness of the first moments, was starting to vanish. They started to feel more laid back, and more in love with every word they spoke.

"I feel so stupid, Ryan," she frowned at him, "I'm sorry about the wrong address, I really am," Ryan laughed, but she continued, "I was feeling really weepy, and depressed, and angry- And I guess I wasn't really in the mood to talk."

"It's alright. I knew it wouldn't be that easy," he laughed, "You were always so complicated," Ryan grinned.

"Was _not,_" Marissa giggled, as she paused momentarily to look at him, "That smile," she said more to herself, studying the exact angle, and essence of his smile. The warmth had returned to his face- she no longer sensed the pain and the sadness, "Ryan, as much as I want you here, we can't keep doing this," she sighed heavily, as she realized the source of his pain, "The more we say goodbye, the harder it'll get," she looked away uneasily, "What am I going to do when you leave? Start to bawl my days away, because I know I lost you- _again?" _She shrugged her shoulders restlessly, as he turned her gaze back to him. Her expression looked deeply saddened, and grim, "I don't know about you, but I just don't think my heart can take all this. It's so unreal that we have to break up one day, but honestly, I think I'll die if I have to endure more goodbyes with you," she said. Ryan couldn't distinguish the several emotions that were surreptitiously hidden behind her blank face.

Ryan kept silent. He knew she was right. As much as he willed for those goodbye's to be, _see you laters_ he knew it could not be arranged. He forced an understanding nod, "I get it," he muttered softly, his voice lost between the hollow silence, "But can we just do something- something memorable- until that last goodbye?"

"What do you mean by memorable?" she asked softly.

"I don't know- something as simple as a last stroll together?" he asked suggestively.

"I'd like that," She said with a soft smile which with its radiance, completely blew Ryan away. Ryan started to get up out of his chair, extending his arm for her to hold.

"Well then, come on- show me around town," he said, grinning at her, as he placed his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. They walked out the front door, both content, and happy with the way things were going. Marissa placed her head on his shoulder, wandering down the busy streets of New York. People would pass them by, and cuss at their slow, and sauntering walk- they neither heard them, nor cared.

What mattered to Ryan right now, was to hold her as much as his arms would allow, to kiss her as much as his lips desired. He refused to let her go, until his heart was ready.

Ryan could hear Marissa's deep, and relaxed breaths, "Any idea where you're going?" Ryan smiled at her lightly.

"Nope," she grinned, "Keep in mind, I only moved here a few days ago,"

"Mmm, good. 'Cause I can wander with you forever," he said, giving her a soft kiss on the forehead.

She giggled gently, "I think there's a park somewhere around here," she said with a smile, her fingers laced with his, as they walked together- neither seemed to mind the vicious wind around them, nor the distant pitter patter of rain drops, or even the curses of hurried people as they walked by with hasty steps. They seemed to be eternally locked in each other's eyes- nothing else mattered.

"Then the park it is," Ryan said, looking over at Marissa with such fascination, that he simply could not tear his eyes away. At any point in time, he would have to admit to himself the harsh truth- in a few hours, he would have to say good bye to the luscious beauty he called his own. He would have to cherish their last kiss, and indulge in their very last goodbye, which ultimately, was in a minimal matter of time.

"What?" Marissa giggled her hearty giggle, as she noticed that Ryan was studying her face intensely.

Ryan shook his head, as he scratched the back of his head, almost embarrassed that he had been caught staring at her every distinct, beautiful feature, "M'rissa?" She looked over at him curiously, nodding, "Have I ever told you, that I think you're the most beautiful woman of all that exist?" Ryan said, stopping their casual saunter, as he lifted her up into the air. He looked up at her, "Marissa, I love you," he said, almost urgently, ignoring her continuous giggles, and pleads to put her down, "Marissa Cooper, I love you!" he said a little louder, causing onlookers to turn their heads and smile.

Marissa pressed her lips against his, snaking her arms around his neck firmly, "I," she started to say in between her insistent kisses, "Love you too," she managed to whisper, in between their mingling tongues. Ryan smiled into the kiss broadly, satisfied at what he was hearing. Marissa pulled away from the kiss, gasping for air, "I love you more than you'll ever know," Marissa whimpered, as she too realized that their moment of departure was fast arriving. Ryan replaced her on the solid ground, looking down at her empathetically.

He caressed her cheek with the tips of his fingers gently, "It'll be okay," he said quietly, not believing the words he spoke for her comfort. He knew things would not be okay without this bold character that he had fallen for long ago. He stared in her eyes blankly, feeling as though they were a door to her very soul. He seemed to understand the vivid emotions that were tackling her from the inside, rendering absolutely wordless at the time being.

She shook her head ever so gently, "Things won't be okay," she whispered. She felt her eyes start to sting, as she looked up at his careful face, "So don't you lie to me. I bet you don't believe it yourself," Marissa said, slightly louder now. She felt as though her world was crashing down, as though the naivety from her entire life had been blinding her until that moment. And finally, when she had to open her eyes, her surroundings were much too unbearable to overcome.

"So what am I supposed to say?" Ryan said, holding her tighter, and closer to his body, "What am I supposed to tell you?"

Marissa broke the gaze abruptly, unable to continue looking into his burdened eyes. She pulled away from his tight hold against her, as she started to feel subconscious, "God, I don't know. The truth?" She said, folding her arms across her chest violently, "How are we going to do this, Ryan? I think it's clear that we can't live without each other- otherwise you wouldn't be here!" she said, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. Ryan stood there silently, watching the humble tears trail down her face in disorderly zigzags, "Say something!" Marissa sobbed, as the rain's droplets started to fall as smoothly as her tears, beating against the pavement in a persistent clatter. Ryan looked around at the menacing sky, the grayness blanketing the entire busy city of New York, cradling it in a gloomy wonder.

"Come here, Marissa," Ryan whispered, extending his arms, ready to welcome her into an embrace. She lay her head against his chest, crying at the grim apprehension of reality. Ryan combed his fingers through her hair, holding her against him with all the might and care in him, "Let's get to that park, okay?" he felt her nod against him. They started to walk, the rain clouding their presence as it rapped continuously around them. Marissa's hair was already stringy from the wetness enveloping it. She kept close to Ryan's strong hold, making their way to one silent haven in the melancholy New York.

As they crossed the borderline from pavement to grass, they felt their shoes ooze into the moist grass of the park. It seemed deserted, and yet still in its childish connotation, it seemed perfect for their needs. The dragged their feet over to a bench that was situated underneath a willow tree. Except for an occasional droplet that slid from the trees sloppy branches, they were saved from the relentless rain.

Marissa's tears were absolved, as though Ryan's shoulder was her sole sanctuary. She heaved a great sigh, trying to emit all the negativity she had forged inside of her. For just a moment, she wanted to forget about the time to come. She wanted to concentrate on the _now- _the warmth circulating from Ryan's body, the way she could hear the exact beating of his heart. Unable to resist the temptation of his succulent lips, she pressed her lips against his, into a fiery, passionate kiss. She cradled his face in between her two palms, bringing herself closer to him, "I can't let you go Ryan," she muttered, mingling their emotions through every kiss.

"You don't have to," Ryan whispered, which made Marissa pull away. She held her eyes locked with his, before she kissed him again. She knew she had to prepare herself for the goodbye. It was inevitable to their existence. The rain seemed to beat harder, and faster outside their hidden perimeter, "Come on," Ryan smiled, taking her hand, as he led her over to the swing.

Marissa laughed, "You're kidding me, right? It's raining like crazy, Ryan!" she said, jogging after him nevertheless. She seated herself on the swing, as he had told her to do. Then he started to push her gently, the rain pounding against them angrily. It didn't stop them though. Marissa couldn't help but giggle, as she threw her head back, closing her eyes, so that the rain beat against her face. Ryan smiled, as he continued to push her, reaching new heights every time, "I've never met anyone like you," Marissa said loudly, her voice mellowed by the wind.

"And I've never met anyone like you," Ryan replied huskily, slowing down his pushes gradually, until she stopped altogether. He came up in front of her, looking at her drenched hair, and dripping mascara- he smiled a warm and affectionate smile, saying nothing, his gaze said it all.

Marissa pressed her lips together, "Ryan, I don't think I'll be able to survive a goodbye," she whispered, as Ryan met their palms together lovingly.

"You'll have to," Ryan answered, "And you'll have to move on, and eventually love someone else, and that's how it's going to have to be- as long as you're here, and I'm there…"

"I hate this,"

"You said you wanted the truth," Ryan said, "It doesn't get any truer than that,"

"If only it weren't the truth… God, I wish it wasn't," she said lightly, biting her lip, "I wish I could undo this somehow," she closed her eyes, trying to fight back the tears. If only she had put up a greater fight, and told her mom that Newport was her home. Either way, she understood that what was done was done and she could do little or nothing on the matter.

"Don't, Marissa," Ryan whispered quietly, "The more we think about the _if-only, _and _I-wish _the tougher it's going to get. We have to admit to ourselves more than anyone, that we're going to have to move on, and be okay with it." Ryan said firmly, leaving no room for her perception. He was about to add more of his two cents, when Marissa's cell phone started to ring. Marissa fumbled in her bag for it, before picking it up with a brusque hello.

"Hey, darling," Julie said into the phone, "I'm going to pick up Kaitlyn from the airport- do you want to come?"

"No, I'm fine here."

"Speaking of which, where are you honey?" Julie asked coolly.

"At the park," Marissa replied, looking up at Ryan.

"It's raining like mad, M'rissa!"

"I'm with _Ryan,_" she replied to her mother's vigilant voice, and after her mother's understanding _mmhm's _and _aha's _Marissa asked her to say hello to Kaitlyn, before she hung up, "My mom's going to pick up my sister," Marissa informed him politely, "By the way, did you come here all alone? To New York?"

Ryan laughed, "Nah- Seth's waiting at some café," he smiled gently.

"All the more reason to get back home- we'll bring Seth before he gets banned from every café in town," Marissa giggled, as she started to get up from the swing, "Ryan, can I ask you something?" After Ryan nodded she continued, "Should I ask why Summer's not here?" she laughed lightly.

Ryan shook his head, "It's a long story, Marissa. Too long for a walk home, on a rainy day," he smiled.

The rain hadn't ceased, but they made their way confidently toward Marissa's house. As they stood in front of it, Ryan pulled her ever so close, embracing her in a deep kiss, "I'll call Seth," Ryan said gently, his face mere inches away from hers.


	13. Chapter THIRTEEN

_Thank you so, so much for all the reviews! Honestly, even as I'm writing this now, I have_ _**no **idea how this is going to finish off. I wish I did. Anyway, please keep reviewing. I appreciate it tons! **h**earts;_

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**Chapter Thirteen **

"So, my little lovebirds, how's everything?" Seth waddled into the house excitedly, gazing from Ryan to Marissa, each in turn. He made sure to look around his surroundings while doing so- he noticed the cozy feel to the house, with the hardwood floor and oak furniture. He half-expected a fire blazing in a fireplace around the corner. Surely, he found no such thing.

"Oh it's alright- it's going to take a _lot _of getting used to," Marissa sighed, leading them toward the recreational room. She dropped her hands to her sides helplessly, as she kicked an empty moving box from underneath her feet, "It's going to take a _lot _of cleaning up as well," She tried to direct the conversation in a casual, almost indifferent manner. She didn't want Seth to see her tears, and pain behind that superficial smile. Ryan wrapped an arm around her shoulder, almost understanding the very essence of her conversation. They both collapsed on the couch lazily, with Seth following shortly after.

"It can't be _that _bad," Seth reassured boldly.

Marissa turned to look over at him, "You don't know what it's like, Seth," she shook her head lightly, almost in disappointment.

"Marissa, you say it all now, because it's new to you. But I promise you, things are always okay in the end. And if they're not okay, then it's not the end," Seth said, for once sounding the least bit wise. Marissa managed to smirk.

"You sound like some inspirational therapist," she smiled to herself lightly, "I'm not crazy, Seth, so save your lines. What if you left Summer? Like, right now. Could you? Would you?" Marissa said, looking over at him. Seth seemed to squirm underneath the heat of the question.

"Point taken," Seth replied solemnly, after a moment of mental contemplation, "But still Marissa. There's no point in wallowing here in New York, while you could be- I don't know- meeting people, doing things, seeing things? The fun stuff."

"Again, easy for you to say," she sighed lightly, "But whatever, no more on my topic. I have _one _question Seth. Are you aware that you're going to get murdered when you come back to Newport? Leaving Sum wasn't the greatest idea," she giggled softly. Ryan chimed in with her, laughing lightly. Seth cringed, as he imagined it.

"She'll live," he shrugged, with a smile.

"Yeah, but _you _won't," Ryan chuckled, holding Marissa a little tighter, so that she could feel the entire sanctuary of his infinite hold. Marissa looked up at him with a smile.

"Next time you ambush me like that, guys, bring her, okay?" she laughed, feeling her phone vibrating in her pocket, "Shit," she muttered, as she quickly pulled it, flipping it open. She almost laughed when she heard Summer on the other line.

"Is Cohen with you?" Summer hissed into the phone, "'Cause I very _faintly _remember him waking me up at night, and telling me he was in New York. Is he and Ryan with you? His flipping phone's off!"

"Someone didn't get her beauty sleep," Marissa joked, turning to Seth with a giggle, "He's all yours, Sum," she grinned, throwing the phone over to him, "Knock yourself out," Marissa smiled, as he took Ryan's had, dragging him out of the room up to Marissa's room.

Marissa smiled at Ryan tentatively, pressing her lips against his, "I guess this means you're going to be leaving soon," she whispered, in between her harsh, urgent kisses, "I'm not ready to say goodbye, yet," Marissa sighed gently, snaking her arms around his neck, "Please don't leave Ryan, _please don't,_"

Ryan continued to kiss her, until he felt her pull away. Her pressing gaze almost demanded a reply. He shrugged, pocketing his hands helplessly, "What can I do?" he asked, his voice filled with wonder, "I wish I could stay. I wish we could be together, Marissa. It's just going to be, _too hard." _Ryan said, trying to convince himself as he spoke.

Marissa nodded, swallowing deeply, "You're right," she said, as her lip quivered. She bit it quickly, suppressing her tears, "Ryan, I know our whole relationship won't work- but, I just need you to promise me something."

Ryan looked over at her, curious as to what she was referring to, "Yeah, anything." He replied.

"I never want you to forget me- _ever._" She said softly, looking away, "As much as I love you, and want you, and need you, and respect you… I want us to be at least friends." She said quietly, and Ryan saw how hard those words were for her.

"It's impossible to forget you," Ryan said quietly, locking his gaze with hers, "Impossible," he repeated, even quieter, pulling her closer for a kiss. Within a matter of moments, they heard Seth crashing up the stairs.

"Where are you guys?" he whined, as he walked into the room quickly, "Oh- there you are," he smiled nervously, seeing them in between their kisses, "Well, I just wanted to give you this," Seth handed Marissa the phone. He looked almost pale in the face, "I'll just, uh, leave you two alone," he said, but Ryan stopped him, glancing at Marissa.

"No, uh, actually," Ryan said, "I think we're going to have to get going," he looked over at her, "Walk us out?" Marissa nodded, her lips curled into a frown. She inhaled deeply, as she followed closely behind them, leading them toward the front door. As they approached it, Ryan's heart started to beat louder in his chest, as though it were ready to pop out. They gathered outside the front door, just before the steps leading to Marissa's house.

Marissa decided that saying goodbye to Seth, would be easier. She walked up to him, giving him a light hug, "Thanks for coming, Seth," she nodded lightly, "Don't change, alright? You're a pretty cool guy. It's a shame it took me almost my entire life to realize that," she looked up at him apologetically, "Say hi to Summer, and uh, I guess take care of yourself,"

"You too, Marissa," he said quietly, "Ryan, I'll be waiting over there," he pointed to the patch of grass, a couple of yards away- out of ear shot, anyway. Ryan nodded, turning his full attention to Marissa.

She smiled up at him weakly, "So I guess this is it," she said softly, looking up at him, "Like I said, don't forget me, okay?" she sighed lightly, camouflaging the pain that was tearing her from inside, "I, I love you Ryan. I love you so much," she said, giving him a gentle peck on the cheek, "Talk to you soon," she stammered, with a light gulp, "Bye, Ryan," she said, as she headed toward the door.

"Marissa, wait," Ryan said, grabbing a hold of her arm, pulling her close to him for another, more passionate kiss, "I love you, more than you will ever know," he muttered, as soon as he pulled away. She nodded lightly, pressing her lips together.

"Bye," she whispered, this time getting as far as opening the door.

Before she disappeared inside, Ryan spoke up once more, "Nice mailbox," Ryan said, a silly, almost flaring expression in his eyes. Marissa looked over at him confusedly, but she decided not to make anything out of it. She closed the door behind her, leaning against it as she did. She couldn't help but slide down to the floor, tears streaming down her face.

Ryan turned to leave quietly, sauntering over to where Seth stood, speechlessly. Seth didn't bother and question him.

Marissa continued to sob behind the door, her face wet with tears. Her breaths became more frequent, and tired, as she tried to calm her raging emotions. The pain she felt in her heart right then and there was simply inexplicable. Her feelings seemed to be stirred deep inside of her, with every cry, and with every tear that made a trail down her cheek, "Ryan…" she moaned, her voice muffled by her tears. She couldn't help but wonder, why at the moment of their goodbye, Ryan would comment on her mailbox.

And then it dawned on her. She scrambled to her feet, opening the door furiously, as she peeked inside her mailbox. Surely, as she had hoped, there was an envelope. As she pulled it from inside, wiping the tears from her face eagerly, she noticed it was his very distinct handwriting scribbled on the envelope. Her name was written on the very center of it- Marissa Cooper. She looked over, to where Seth had stood only minutes earlier- both Ryan and Seth had disappeared. She tore it open nevertheless, her whole body and soul aching to see what was written. As she threw open the envelope, she noticed a letter- a long letter. She was captivated by it. Unable to withstand her curiosity, she ran to her room, ready to read what Ryan had written.

As she tumbled onto her bed, she started to read:

_Marissa,_

_I'm probably gone by now, and you're probably wondering what's so important, that I would have to write it in a damned letter. You're probably just skimming through the words, until you get to the meat of the message. There is no meat. I wrote this, so that I could express to you all my emotions, and let you know what was going through my mind when you closed that door of the pool house, after you told me you were leaving- I'm even going to tell you what's going through my head right now, as I write this. Well, I can't say this was pre-planned. I just wasn't sure whether or not you would be happy with my coming to visit you. So in case we left off on bad terms, I just wanted you to know all this. Marissa Cooper, you're the person that makes me want to wake up each morning. Only the thought of grazing your beautiful hair, makes me jump right out of bed. I want to be someone for you. I want to be someone that you could be proud of. I was trying so hard- I wanted to make you happy. Now, I don't know what I did wrong. When everything was going perfectly in my eyes, you disappeared. I didn't know what to think when I heard those doors slam. I was miserable. Absolutely miserable. In a way, I hated you right then and there, for doing something like that to me. I just didn't understand why you could just leave me. I guess it was selfish for me to believe that you were always all mine. It was also selfish of me, for believing that you could be all mine forever and more. Then I realized your priorities, and I guess I understood where you were coming from- at least I think I did. But that feeling didn't go away. That feeling of pain, anger, even fear- it didn't go away. I'm so excited about seeing you Marissa, but then again I'm scared- my heart is already broken, I don't need it shattered again, especially during our goodbye. I just wanted to know that you're okay. The whole night I was thinking about what you were doing, what you were thinking- and I couldn't stop. I just had to convince myself you were okay. I hope you're okay- I hope to God that you're really okay, Marissa. I want you to be happy- you out of all people. I want you to be able to grant someone that warmth of your smile, that softness of your touch, even if that someone isn't me. I want you to be happy, if you can understand that. I want you to be happy right now, even if that means that you'll eventually forget me, forget everything about me. As much as I don't want it to be true, I know that the day will come, when I will become a mere no one, which you could not care less for. It's tough, but I've come to admit that to myself throughout the ride over here. Marissa, I also wish one thing for you- next time you fall in love, I hope that you don't break a poor guy's heart, like you did mine. Because although I got the opportunity to love another with all my heart, the feeling of having it all ripped away from you, is unbearable. But hey, I get it all- at least I'm trying to. You know how much I care for you. You know that it's physically impossible to write it all down, and tell you exactly what I feel for you, Marissa. Your were the colour in my life- the taste, the happiness, the world. I just can't believe that it was so easy for you to say goodbye. I definitely know it's love, because if it wasn't, then my heart couldn't possibly endure the real thing. Either way, Marissa- life is going to be tough, knowing that you're being held in someone else's arms, being kissed by someone else. I don't think I can imagine it, take it. But if that's what's going to make you happy one day, then so be it. I want you happy. I need you happy. Marissa, I love you so fucking much. I don't know how I'll be able to live here in Newport, all alone, but I'll try and manage. I pray that this is how things were meant to be. I love you- and don't you ever forget that._

_- Ryan Atwood._

_P/S: I'm sitting here in this café, with Seth sitting in front of me wondering why I look so miserable. I'm trying to hold back the tears, I'm trying to be brave. I'm trying so hard not to cry because of you. Boys don't cry._

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**The End**


	14. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

April 21st, 2006

Hey Guys. I thought it would be nice for you all to know, that I'm working on a sequel as I write this. Please stay tuned for the fan fiction titled, "**_Darling Dear, Get a Grip_**" by yours truly.

I'll give you a little insider: Marissa and Ryan are both older, and both equally successful, in a way. Marissa is occupied with her job, and the new flame in her life. We don't hear about Ryan, until the second chapter. Of course it hasn't been written yet, so there's not much that I can tell you. Although Marissa is busy with her life, exceptional circumstances continuously bring the thought of Ryan Atwood back into her mind. What will she do? How will she live up to her busy lifestyle, knowing that her _first love _is somewhere out there?

And that's about all I know for now.

Thank you, to all of the constant reviewers, to those that have noted this story as a favourite, and even to those who wished to receive alerts upon my updates. Thank you for your support, and patience.

I hope you will all enjoy the sequel, Darling Dear, Get a Grip.

Take care!

: Intricate.bella


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